A Thursday article from Associated Press (AP News) drew the ire of X users by suggesting marriage can survive “and even thrive” after one partner undergoes a gender transition.
The article, titled “Can a marriage survive a gender transition? Yes, and even thrive. How these couples make it work,” features two women who had previously identified as a lesbian and a bisexual.
“Now [Marissa Lasoff-Santos’] partner has become her husband, and they both identify as queer. And things are better than ever,” writes AP editor Jeff McMillan, who also serves as an at-large director on the board of the Association of LGBTQ+ Journalists.
“Lasoff-Santos’ relationship and others like it show that a partner’s gender transition does not necessarily mean a death sentence for a marriage,” the article states. “Data is scant, but couples and therapists say that in many cases, a relationship grows and flourishes under the light of new honesty.”
McMillan, who regularly covers LGBTQ+ issues for the outlet, writes that such marriages “can underscore the resilience of love, the flexibility of sexual identity and diversity in LGBTQ+ relationships.”
“Even though he was the one transitioning, I felt like I was going through my own transition,” said Lasoff-Santos. “It was definitely hard to not, I guess, come across as kind of selfish, because I was going through all these emotions, and he was going through his own journey.”
Can a marriage survive a gender transition? Yes, and even thrive. How these couples make it work https://t.co/ba3uVg0PGB
— The Associated Press (@AP) June 20, 2024
The article also features Avril Clark, who started an online network for partners of people who identify as transgender or nonbinary. Clark’s former husband, an Israeli soccer referee, came out as a transgender woman in 2018. Prior to her husband’s coming out, Clark said they lived “a double life” for 15 years.
Though she sought help from various groups that had similar experiences, she said, “They were full of people that were very angry and bitter and didn’t want anybody else’s relationship to work because their relationship hadn’t worked.”
Clark said that her group, Distinction Support, includes over 500 people who are “all fighting, some of them fighting to make their relationship work.”
“She estimates her group is 90% cisgender women and 5% transgender or nonbinary people who may also have a partner in transition. The remaining 5% are cisgender husbands, she says,” AP reports.
Another formerly heterosexual couple from a small town in Iowa described the process of coaching a partner through a new identity as joyous.
Rhiannon Rippke-Koch recounted a trip with her husband-turned-wife that involved shopping for a bra at Victoria’s Secret and undergoing a makeover at Sephora.
“It was awesome,” said Sophia, the man whom she refers to as her wife.
The couple explained that since Sophia has broken free from the notions associated with conventional masculinity, they can now bond over subjects like musicals and flowers.
Rhiannon said they’re now “much more intimate, and not even in a sexual way.”
As of Thursday morning, users have “ratio’d” AP News’ posting of the article on X, with about twice as many comments than likes. The majority of the comments are negative.
“[A] natural 20 on a gaslight attempt [and] a natural 1 on wisdom check,” wrote one user.
“Why not stories on the pain it can inflict as well? Why does everything have to be propaganda?” asked one person.
“AP definitely isn’t pushing an agenda or biased[.] What a joke the AP is,” another person commented, suggesting Alex Jones is a more trustworthy source for news. "AP should be ashamed of themselves for this," he added.
Other X accounts accused the outlet of spreading propaganda, prioritizing promotion over reporting, and misleading their readers.
At the time of reporting, all visible X users who reposted the article with a comment shared a negative reaction.
This is the most ridiculous story and headline I have ever seen presented as serious news. https://t.co/7MKUFx2fm6
— Daniel Wiginton (@DanielWiginton) June 20, 2024
AP used to be a news organization... https://t.co/XhdZfewDw2
— RON COULTER (@RONCOULTER) June 20, 2024
Your daily reminder that the state-sponsored media is your enemy.
Carry on https://t.co/WmmzEQcmfz— 🇺🇲Salty Texan (@texan_maga) June 20, 2024
Saw this on a local news station. I see this propaganda is being spread all over trying to normalize it. I highly doubt many marriages could survive this. @AskATranswidow? https://t.co/G4lK45O1zb
— Andrea (@and_kell) June 20, 2024
Leftist extremists ignore the pain & devastation that a gender transition could inflict on a couple, they have an agenda to push. https://t.co/KURsTQz8o0
— Mary Jane⤵ (@Sarcasm_DuJour) June 20, 2024
The agenda must be pushed at any cost. https://t.co/8zKIjCfbDV
— KindofaDick ☆Man of Leisure (@DicksTrash) June 20, 2024
And a lot of those couples that "make it work", one of them isn't happy but is staying silent because if she expresses concerns/unhappiness she'll get called a bigot, a transphobe, guilt tripped, gaslighted etc. https://t.co/Gf1nnn1EyV
— Tiny Crocodile (@TinyCroc) June 20, 2024
Ask yourself why the CIA is so invested in promoting this insanity. https://t.co/Mb4bENrrmP
— Mike Kilo (@Mike___Kilo) June 20, 2024
https://t.co/RPJzRygeEi pic.twitter.com/XcnIyJRhkO
— Rightward Therapist (@coninexile) June 20, 2024
A cursory review of X users who share similar anecdotes involving a post-gender transition breakup unearths generally negative opinions.
My divorce and my transition occurred within three months of each other, and I cannot even explain how surreal it feels for me to ever think that I was married
Like I lived an entire ass other LIFE y’all— Miss Gender (@girldrawsghosts) August 28, 2020
I worked with a woman who's husband decided to transition. He though she would transition as well & they'd live as a hetero couple. She wasn't into it, they divorced.
— GenericName (@MoriMissmori) June 18, 2024
21 months ago I moved out of the home my partner and I shared, solidifying the divorce we had agreed on. This was about a week before I moved out.
She was my first and most determined supporter when I began transition. She gave me that dress. pic.twitter.com/BL4JUxUydR— Mattie Fairchild (@Scav) March 31, 2024
It’s funny that the story always goes like this. “His wife TOTALLY supports his transition. It’s such a heartwarming story! Btw they’re also getting divorced. Completely unrelated.” https://t.co/zqQ7Gx9WEZ
— Matt Walsh (@MattWalshBlog) April 13, 2023
i hate telling people i'm divorced because they usually immediately ask if my ex is supportive of my transition (they even sometimes make a comment assuming she must be) and i have to be like "uh well actually"
— self-sabotage ida (@Ida_Clemens) November 27, 2023
Several married women have expressed an unwillingness to support their husbands if they wanted to transition in X posts unrelated to AP News' article.
I might be the only one to admit this, but if my husband told me he wanted to be a woman I would not be calm and understanding. I would divorce his ass and kick him to the curb! #LostInTransition
— reality_judge (@jadedxgirl) June 18, 2018
If my husband, whom I adore, transitioned I would leave him. He would no longer be the person I married. Simple as that.
And he would leave me if I did.
We aren't the weird ones.
— space hardware (@heele760563) April 14, 2024
Ha. I’ve been married 2 my husband for 21 years. I love him. If he wanted 2 transition I’d say “good luck but, buh bye, here are the divorce papers” I’d support him if he really felt that’s what he needed to do but I married a man. I want 2 be married 2 a man, not a transwoman
— M L H (@mlh_creative) May 29, 2023